How to Grow a Life

This message was dictated to Mandy Wildman by a group of non-physical teachers whom she knows as Xara & Friends.

How to Grow a Life

“We are here – we will never forsake you – but we will lovingly insist that you stand on your own two physical feet. Your own doubt and lack of belief in your desired outcomes are your greatest hindrances.

We say (since you asked): take full responsibility for your happiness, creativity, connectedness, and joyous fulfillment. There are no pre-destined outcomes for you from our perspective, only from yours.

Our mission is to assist you in flowing through this life without the negativity most of you seem to feel is necessary. We’re not saying not to experience negativity once in a while – it’s what you came here to grow from. But we are saying, don’t wallow in it! It isn’t necessary for the understanding you came here to seek.


Your solutions to your perceived money/relationships/purpose pains are right in front of you – they always were. Each of you is responsible for your own emotions and reactions to situations and we are saying that they don’t need to be that big or devastating. Once you understand who you really, really are and are connected to the Source within you, you’ll be able to handle anything that comes at you – and THAT’S what you came here to master – handling life’s challenges with equanimity. Most of these challenges are those with which you are in agreement because you chose them in the first place.

It’s like a gardener choosing which plants to plant – and he’s looking in a catalogue and it says, “This plant is finicky – it’s hard to grow.” And he says, “Yes! That’s the one I want to grow – I’ll win the county fair with that one!”

Crocosmic Experience Boone2013

You see? Grass is the easiest thing in the world to “grow” (you don’t “grow” plants – they grow themselves – you nurture them, just as we are doing with you in this moment). You never hear a devout gardener enthusiastically announce how he’ll win the county fair or be featured in a magazine for growing grass. Why? Because it’s EASY!

But you didn’t come here for “easy.” You didn’t come here to grow grass or to let it grow under your feet. You came here to taste the fruits of life – to create your own deliciously beautiful life – and learn how to overcome challenges. Like orchids. Peonies. Delphiniums.


You may say, “Oh, those are not so difficult to grow – I could do that!” And then life brings you a job transfer – to Alaska. Then the game of life gets kicked up a notch and you have embarked upon a new level of growth. And we know you can do it.

We love and admire you greatly.

Xara & Friends (and Mandy)
Book a Spirit Guide reading HERE

A New Viewpoint on Guilt – from Xara and Friends

This is a message from Spirit Mentors Xara & Friends translated and relayed by Mandy Wildman:

“Guilt is simply resistance. It is you resisting the luxury of feeling good because you think your happiness will attract the jealously and disapproval of others whose opinions you currently consider to be more valuable to you than your own well-being.

In other words, guilt comes about as a product of attaching your happiness to the way other people regard you. We recommend deciding that YOU feel good about you, regardless of what the peanut gallery might or might not think.

It is interesting to note that you can knock yourself off balance when you decide to worry about what others think of you. You can be going along quite happily and then you see something which you decide displeases you. In that moment you are not feeling quite so happy because you are resisting what you saw that generated that resistant, displeased feeling.

We recommend that you place yourself in a ‘no judgment zone’ where you decide that you will not judge people or things and that you will have no reaction to those who seem to be judging you.

Try this for a week and see how it works for you. Ideally you will feel cheerful and productive and at peace and all those good feelings that contribute to your overall sense of well-being.”


Do you have questions about how to connect with YOUR Spirit Guides? Get the answers you’ve been searching for HERE.

Free Spirit Guide Overview Teleclass

Don’t miss this call – happening on Wednesday, October 15th at 7:00 pm EST.


  • Did you know that you have a gathering of loving, supporting spirit beings ready and waiting to serve you?
  • Have you ever wondered what it would be like to know – really KNOW – who your spirit guides are?
  • Do you wonder why they haven’t spoken to you or told you what to do? (They can’t – find out why).
  • Would you like to know how to get the positive, loving support and wisdom you need and deserve, 24/7?

While most people have heard of Spirit Guides and Guardian Angels, very few people really understand who they are, why they’re here and how to communicate with them.

Join me for this ground-breaking training call and find out everything you ever wanted to know about your Spirit Support Team.


See you on the call!

Love, Mandy

Other People’s Outcomes (O.P.O.’s)

“So what we are saying is, “Be wealthy, be happy, be free, be fulfilled by giving it your all – and don’t block your dreams out of a feeling of guilt or concern over that which you cannot and never will be able to control – which is Other People’s Outcomes (or O.P.O.’s).”

How to be ‘nonchalantly successful’

“The best way to be is ‘nonchalantly successful’ – where you are acting as if being successful is the easiest thing in the world for you – no effort at all.  

You do this by not being ‘frantic’ or ‘feverish’. That is always related to being attached to an outcome – a deadline, a number, or a reaction from someone that you want or don’t want.  These are all things you cannot control – other than by holding what you want away from you!

So the only way to control outcomes with fear or force is to hold away the outcome that you are so attached to.  In other words, when you attempt to control an outcome with fear, franticness or force, the outcome you’ll be controlling will be holding that which you want away from you – get it?”

Our great love to you, Xara & Friends


Turning toward the light

This morning, as I sat down to commune with my spirit mentors Xara & Friends after an upset with a stranger that happened yesterday, something magical happened.

As I settled into my meditation spot – some soft blankets and pillows against a wall in my bedroom – the morning sun came out and shone between the leaves of the trees, through the window and directly towards where I was sitting.

Concerned that the sunlight may be too bright and that I would have to move, I closed my eyes.  When I faced the sunny window I could see the light through my eyelids, but when I moved my head ever so slightly so that the sun was blocked, all I saw was darkness.

When I opened my eyes again I noticed that the sunlight I was now seeing wasn’t harsh or blinding. This was a soft, clear, glowing light that I could easily look at. I felt bathed in its warming glow, and I breathed deeply. The words soon came.

“You have only to turn your head just slightly to see a whole, bright, shining vista of possibilities,” they told me.  “Simply turn away to look at something beautiful when the peanut gallery rears its ugly head.  The longer you focus on the negative the more you will be drawn in.  Don’t allow it.  Allow only what makes you feel good.

I felt good.

Xara’s Prayer

I now realize I began calling Spirit back to me when I spontaneously jotted down these words in a notebook in October of 2012:

 I call to me the Love of kind Spirits

Who have healing and protective

messages to share, that will uplift

Individuals and mankind.

And I pledge to use this knowledge

Wisely, and for the greatest good.


I had absolutely no idea of the adventure I was about to embark upon!

Love, Mandy